We travelled a lot farther today- about 500 miles total. We got an earlier start than usual but we fell behind when I had to stop in Albuquerque at a Honda dealership to get new wheel locks. When I got new tires in Bellingham before I left they didn't give me back the key to my wheel locks. I realized it when I was still in Oklahoma. Basically what that means is if I get a flat out on the highway somewhere I have no way to remove my tires. I was finally able to get that taken care of today (thankfully).
We are stopped for the night in Flagstaff. It was an uneventful journey today. The boys were better today than yesterday. Tomorrow will be the true test as we will have really long stretches of absolutely NO CIVILIZATION and NOTHING to look at.
Safe and sound and going to sleep early tonight.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. This has been my mantra over the last 9 weeks- (yes it has actually been 9 whole weeks here). We accomplished so much together, my mom and I. My dad helped out where he could and my brother and his wife showed up occasionally as well. It was a lot of exhausting work sorting through everything from porcelain dolls to bottled up emotions. We had a succesful garage sale- in spite of the cold. We cleaned and organized almost everything. My parents got one room completely redecorated- which they love by the way- it is a room for them to share their free time together.
I learned alot about my family that I did not know. I learned a little more about myself and what I am capable (or not capable) of. I reconnected with my hometown and my parents. I got to know my nephew a little better. I saw my sister and her family for the first time in 13 years. I inherited some things. I claimed a few things as well (my baby book, some old photos, etc...)
I became more familiar with the dynamic in my parents' household- why things are the way they are- and I tried to share some ideas that might make things function better.
Then there are the things that I cannot change- like clashing personalities, my parents' financial situation, the structural state of their home and all the damage that has been done by unfinished projects and neglect, and what I struggled with most is that I cannot change all the negativity and resentment that gets fed into that house on a daily basis. Toward the end I would cringe every time the phone rang or the door opened. I only pray my mom has the strength now to continue working through it without me by her side. I will continue to call and check in- but I have to get back to my own life now. Please pray with me that God's light will shine down on the intersection of 21st and Birch in Duncan, Oklahoma and fill some hearts with healing and hope. He knows they need it- maybe we can help lift them up on His to-do list.
Leaving Oklahoma with a heavy heart today and staying the night in Tucumcari, New Mexico. Looking forward to getting back to my own life with a lot more appreciation for what I have. I am grateful to all of my friends back in Washington who kept tabs and checked in and left comments. You have been greatly missed and I can't wait to see all of your smiling faces again!
I learned alot about my family that I did not know. I learned a little more about myself and what I am capable (or not capable) of. I reconnected with my hometown and my parents. I got to know my nephew a little better. I saw my sister and her family for the first time in 13 years. I inherited some things. I claimed a few things as well (my baby book, some old photos, etc...)
I became more familiar with the dynamic in my parents' household- why things are the way they are- and I tried to share some ideas that might make things function better.
Then there are the things that I cannot change- like clashing personalities, my parents' financial situation, the structural state of their home and all the damage that has been done by unfinished projects and neglect, and what I struggled with most is that I cannot change all the negativity and resentment that gets fed into that house on a daily basis. Toward the end I would cringe every time the phone rang or the door opened. I only pray my mom has the strength now to continue working through it without me by her side. I will continue to call and check in- but I have to get back to my own life now. Please pray with me that God's light will shine down on the intersection of 21st and Birch in Duncan, Oklahoma and fill some hearts with healing and hope. He knows they need it- maybe we can help lift them up on His to-do list.
Leaving Oklahoma with a heavy heart today and staying the night in Tucumcari, New Mexico. Looking forward to getting back to my own life with a lot more appreciation for what I have. I am grateful to all of my friends back in Washington who kept tabs and checked in and left comments. You have been greatly missed and I can't wait to see all of your smiling faces again!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Happy New year!
It's still the first...right? I have been sick since New Year's Eve- it started as a minor cold and in the last 5 days or so I have been completely miserable. Finally yesterday my mom demanded that I take a nap while Max napped- I didn't argue, I was so groggy and out of it from the cold medicine- so 4 hours later Max woke me up (yes he slept that long too!) Then last night for the first time since I arrived here I went to bed before 2 am (the only time mom and I get anything done is when the boys are sleeping so we rarely get to bed before 3- sometimes 5). I slept hard. I really needed it because I apparently slept off the sick. I woke up this morning ready and raring to go! It is about time. It sucks to be sick when you are the only one around to take care of 2 kids and one recovering adult. Mom did really great though taking care of the boys. I have come into the room more than once and she is holding Max- which means she picked him up by herself. She really is getting better. She has been taking baby steps every day. However yesterday she ironed a whole bunch of clothes and today her back was in excruciating pain all day. No reasonable amount of pain killers did much to help. She definitely overdid it- I don't think I'd mentioned that she has 2 fractured discs in her back- and nothing will help her but time. Sooooo... no more ironing for her! As for the house- I can't even get over her- every day she seems to have an epiphany about what things weren't working for her in her life before and what she can do to fix it. She has been steadily talking herself out of the "stuff" that she has been surrounding herself with. She is reading some self-help books and opening up to the ideas within more easily. We are looking for activities that will get her out of the house and keep her busy (so she doesn't fall back into the deep depression).
The boys are doing really well. Isaac has been struggling with behavior issues since we got here. Grandma has some sort of old-fashioned ideas as to how kids should act so it took a while for Isaac to be okay with her- it was a learning process for both of them- but I think we got it. His other issues has been due to a basic lack of playmates. Isaac is used to 2 or 3 playdates with kids his age every week. He is also used to attending preschool twice a week and MOPS every other week- the fact that there are no real playmates for him here has been tough on him. I had no idea how tough exactly until I managed to plan a play date with some old friends and their little boys. The 3 of us and all 6 boys (between us) met at the park on a nice afternoon and they ran around the playground, played tag, then found a huge area of leaves and just attacked each other in a big leaf war. Even the mommies had leaves in places we didn't realize we had when all was over! Afterward Isaac was his old wonderful self. Cheerful, helpful, polite, even my mom noticed a difference. I didn't realize it would be such a challenge to find Isaac someone to play with here! We are good now I think - they played so well together! We are looking forward to a dinner date at Mcdonald's now!
Max is great! His new word is "foot-ball!" Daddy and Grandpa are SO PROUD! We are working on "rock on!" he is almost there, he makes this snarly face and sticks up his index finger when we say it! Tonight he woke up crying like crazy so while I tried to figure out where the syringe for the tylenol was (it was that kind of cry) I gave him to Grandpa and Grandma. When I brought him the dose he was completely enthralled by grandpa's clock that projects on the ceiling. So I left him. I went back 30 minutes later and all 3 of them were fast asleep. If I thought I could've gotten away with it I would have taken a picture- it was so sweet!
That's it for now. Best wishes to all in the new year! I miss you and I'll see you soon!
The boys are doing really well. Isaac has been struggling with behavior issues since we got here. Grandma has some sort of old-fashioned ideas as to how kids should act so it took a while for Isaac to be okay with her- it was a learning process for both of them- but I think we got it. His other issues has been due to a basic lack of playmates. Isaac is used to 2 or 3 playdates with kids his age every week. He is also used to attending preschool twice a week and MOPS every other week- the fact that there are no real playmates for him here has been tough on him. I had no idea how tough exactly until I managed to plan a play date with some old friends and their little boys. The 3 of us and all 6 boys (between us) met at the park on a nice afternoon and they ran around the playground, played tag, then found a huge area of leaves and just attacked each other in a big leaf war. Even the mommies had leaves in places we didn't realize we had when all was over! Afterward Isaac was his old wonderful self. Cheerful, helpful, polite, even my mom noticed a difference. I didn't realize it would be such a challenge to find Isaac someone to play with here! We are good now I think - they played so well together! We are looking forward to a dinner date at Mcdonald's now!
Max is great! His new word is "foot-ball!" Daddy and Grandpa are SO PROUD! We are working on "rock on!" he is almost there, he makes this snarly face and sticks up his index finger when we say it! Tonight he woke up crying like crazy so while I tried to figure out where the syringe for the tylenol was (it was that kind of cry) I gave him to Grandpa and Grandma. When I brought him the dose he was completely enthralled by grandpa's clock that projects on the ceiling. So I left him. I went back 30 minutes later and all 3 of them were fast asleep. If I thought I could've gotten away with it I would have taken a picture- it was so sweet!
That's it for now. Best wishes to all in the new year! I miss you and I'll see you soon!
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